the state of the blog address
Okay, so it's been well over a month since I posted. A lot has been happening in my life in the last few months.
My boyfriend of 6 1/2 years and I broke up about 2 months ago. I think it was the right thing to do, but it was still the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. So now I'm cooking for one and looking for a smaller, cheaper apartment. My emotional state is perhaps not the best it's ever been, and while for the most part I'm okay, I've had little motivation to cook extravagent things when I'm just going to eat by myself in front of the tv. Also, I'm totally guilty of "eating my feelings" over the last few weeks. As if stuffing my face with junk will somehow make me feel better. Yeah, okay. In reality it'll just make me fatter, which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is less with the cheering up. It's a vicious cycle, really.
On the plus side, I started a full-time mural-painting internship almost immediately after school let out 3 weeks ago, in addition to some other freelance work that came my way, and some work that I already had lined up. It's been a good year for me, art-wise. I had a piece make it into the Society of Illustrators student competition; it hung in the gallery show there for most of this month. Another piece was chosen to be the poster artwork for this year's Lancaster Art Walk. It hung up all over the city, which was pretty freakin' sweet. All of this is wonderful, of course, and I'm very thankful for it all - but it's keeping me pretty busy. Which, given the current state of things, is probably good. But it does get in the way of all things food bloggy.
The basic gist of things is that some shit happened, and is happening, and life just keeps marching on, and I'm trying to keep up. And in doing that, I've neglected this blog terribly. Which I feel pretty bad about, I'm not going to lie. I don't like to see things sit and stagnate. But I'm sort of at a crossroads here. I'm not focused so much on cooking new things anymore. I still do, every once in a while, but I can't remember when the last time I opened a cookbook was. So I have no food to blog about, really.
My focus in life has shifted, and in an attempt to keep this blog relevent, I'm going to shift focus here as well. I need to get my eating and my weight under control. It's a source of a lot of negativity, stress, and depression for me, and I'm tired of doing nothing about it. Today I started following the Weight Watcher's Core program. I am going to blog about it. In an odd twist, this will make my blog name actually match the subject for once. Neat. I'll still post about food, and recipes, and I'll still do candy reviews occasionally. But the scope of the blog, if it's not completely different, has effectively shifted.
(I was going to say "expanded," but it reminded me too much of how my ass is steadily expanding, and I'd like to start this new endeavor on a positive note.)
My boyfriend of 6 1/2 years and I broke up about 2 months ago. I think it was the right thing to do, but it was still the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. So now I'm cooking for one and looking for a smaller, cheaper apartment. My emotional state is perhaps not the best it's ever been, and while for the most part I'm okay, I've had little motivation to cook extravagent things when I'm just going to eat by myself in front of the tv. Also, I'm totally guilty of "eating my feelings" over the last few weeks. As if stuffing my face with junk will somehow make me feel better. Yeah, okay. In reality it'll just make me fatter, which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is less with the cheering up. It's a vicious cycle, really.
On the plus side, I started a full-time mural-painting internship almost immediately after school let out 3 weeks ago, in addition to some other freelance work that came my way, and some work that I already had lined up. It's been a good year for me, art-wise. I had a piece make it into the Society of Illustrators student competition; it hung in the gallery show there for most of this month. Another piece was chosen to be the poster artwork for this year's Lancaster Art Walk. It hung up all over the city, which was pretty freakin' sweet. All of this is wonderful, of course, and I'm very thankful for it all - but it's keeping me pretty busy. Which, given the current state of things, is probably good. But it does get in the way of all things food bloggy.
The basic gist of things is that some shit happened, and is happening, and life just keeps marching on, and I'm trying to keep up. And in doing that, I've neglected this blog terribly. Which I feel pretty bad about, I'm not going to lie. I don't like to see things sit and stagnate. But I'm sort of at a crossroads here. I'm not focused so much on cooking new things anymore. I still do, every once in a while, but I can't remember when the last time I opened a cookbook was. So I have no food to blog about, really.
My focus in life has shifted, and in an attempt to keep this blog relevent, I'm going to shift focus here as well. I need to get my eating and my weight under control. It's a source of a lot of negativity, stress, and depression for me, and I'm tired of doing nothing about it. Today I started following the Weight Watcher's Core program. I am going to blog about it. In an odd twist, this will make my blog name actually match the subject for once. Neat. I'll still post about food, and recipes, and I'll still do candy reviews occasionally. But the scope of the blog, if it's not completely different, has effectively shifted.
(I was going to say "expanded," but it reminded me too much of how my ass is steadily expanding, and I'd like to start this new endeavor on a positive note.)
hey sorry to hear that you've been going through it. i started checking your blog a little while ago after always admiring your food porn on the ppk. i hope core works out for you, best of luck! vv
Posted by Anonymous | 9:07 PM
Hi, I am a frequent reader but have not commented before. I am sorry to hear about the things that have not been going well for you recently.
I am, however, excited to see your take on the Weight Watchers Core program. I too am trying to lose weight with Weight Watchers, and have been doing flex for 5 months. Good luck to you, and I look forward to your blogging!
Sage
Posted by Anonymous | 9:07 PM
I really need to get back into WW too. I'm still paying for it, but getting myself to log my foods is hard, no matter what i'm eating.
Good luck!
Posted by Anonymous | 12:11 AM
{{{hugs}}} for the crizappy stuff and {{{hugs}}} for the happy stuff! you're an amazing person and i'm sorry things have kind of sucked--but yay for your art!!
Posted by Anonymous | 12:39 AM
vv - Thank you!
sage - I did Flex for a very long time, so it'll be interesting to try Core out. :)
katie - Counting and measuring everything drives me crazy after a while, so I know what you mean. I'm hoping Core helps with that.
girl least likely to - I'm going to start referring to everything bad as "crizappy." Awesome.
Posted by Amanda | 6:13 AM
What a rollercoaster you've been on. I'm very sorry to hear of your relationship not working, but very excited to hear about your success with your art.
I've done WW in the past and found it quite easy to adhere to. I'm looking forward to reading your posts about the core program & can't wait to see what yummy food ideas you come up with.
Posted by Carrie™ | 9:30 AM
Core worked really well for me, I had so much energy on it. Good luck with everything.
Amber
Posted by Anonymous | 10:17 AM
I've always told my boyfriend that if we ever break up I'll never be able to cook again. I am hoping to start a vegan blog soon, and he and I always cook and prepare together. I understand how it could feel.
I know food may remind you of only having to cook for yourself, but I guess it's really whatever you want it to remind you of.
Make it remind you of how damn good youre looking and going to look (and feel)
All my happy thoughts,
Crystal
Posted by Anonymous | 1:21 PM
hey vegancore,
sounds like you've been experiencing the whole gamut of life. phew. Good luck with your WW program goals, I'll keep checking in.
:)
Posted by Amey | 1:57 AM
im sooory you are living that! i hope you feel better soon!
Posted by Anonymous | 9:56 AM
Good luck with WW, I'll be curious to hear how it works for you. I need to do something about my expanding ass as well but also hate weighing and measuring, well, that's probably just an excuse. Really I just like food too much. :-) Sending good vibes your way...
Posted by Tamara | 11:30 AM
Sending you virtual hugs and good vibes. Sorry to hear about the tough times, but it sounds like you are keeping busy and having a pretty healthy attitude about stuff, so kudos to you.
Good luck with WW. I hadn’t lost any weight since last summer (thankfully hadn’t gained much, just a little blip due to moving/job change) and I’ve been trying to get back on the wagon since April. I’ve only lost a couple pounds so far, but that’s better than nothing and I feel better just knowing I’m putting forth the effort. Are you still running? I did the c25k program last fall, then I kind of took the winter off from running mostly now and I’m back at it this spring. I ran my first “official” 5k in April and I’m doing Race for the Cure on June 2.
Posted by Shananigans | 3:30 PM
Congratulations on all the art success! That internship sounds amazing. And condolences on the stress/less-positive things... I really hear you on the eating feelings things (I'm in a post-graduation/moving in a month/feeling lonely slump right now I think). I'm trying to eat healthier myself and look forward to reading your coming posts. <3
Posted by sarchan | 8:07 PM
Good luck with WW and hope you are feeling happier soon!
Posted by Jacqueline Meldrum | 11:54 AM
I'm a somewhat new reader to your blog and wanted also to send my well-wishes to you; thanks so much for trusting us with what you've been going through and i'm glad to hear that work is keeping you busy.
I too would love to hear how a vegan can take the WW diet - i would need some pointers too!
Posted by vania | 1:06 PM
it was fun stumbling across your blog today and seeing all those desserts and candies. i can definitely sympathize with the need to cut back (as i type i am glancing guiltily at a cupcake next to me) and i wish you loads of luck on your new diet, and new changes in your life!
Posted by shaun.marie | 2:33 PM
It's good to hear from you, and this is such a real post. good luck, amanda!
Posted by jess (of Get Sconed!) | 3:03 PM
Hey, I know what you mean. I have had two relationships end in the past year and I was bewildered for days and couldn't even cook! But now I am back to cooking but making less and trying to give some away. I hope you're okay. Feel free to email me if you want to chat!
Posted by n/a | 3:45 PM
totally glad you are back, i was worried i stumbled upon a defunct blog, totally understand what you are going through, did the break up a long time ago after 'playing house' and being with someone for 4 1/2 years. it was for the best but totally sucked at the time and was very scarey. things are already getting better for you, congrads on the mural internship! things will only get better from now on!
-bethie
Posted by Anonymous | 4:27 PM
I am also a relatively new reader who is de-lurking to say hey.
Sorry about the tough stuff and good for you for marching on. It might not seem like much but it's everything! Looking forward to following your WW success. (I may get inspired to join.) :)
Posted by Stephanie | 8:27 PM
Okay, I'll come out of the closet too. I'm also a lurker who is coming out to send you good words. I've been reading for a while, and like your style. I'm sorry to hear about the drama, and the hard times that come with it. I can share your woes of singledom, and eating your feelings in front of the TV. We should start a club.
On the positive side, congratulations on the internship. It sounds great, and I'm sure it is good to get the creative energy out. Good luck with the weight loss program. Now that I have leapt the hurdle from lurker to commenter, I will try to speak up more often, and continue sending good vibes.
Posted by Kayla | 12:59 PM
hey there... you haven't posted in a while, i just wanted to see how you are doing. don't worry too much about getting the eating under control. the harder you try to control it, the farther out of your grasp it will slip. work on healing yourself emotionally, and the rest will fall into place.
i just split with my live-in partner of seven years. it's really rough. really, really rough. hang in there... it does get better. promise.
we miss you!
Posted by Anonymous | 7:03 PM
I just found vegancore. I did not realize ww worked for vegans. Wow.
I will go to their website next. I have similar issues. Resolving boyfriend not for me. Wanting an art career. Seeking myself in a box of girlschout cookies. I continue to hope. Peace! My vegancore id is webfree. I may signoff anon.
Posted by Anonymous | 1:42 PM