I mean, yeah, the milk chocolate stuff wouldn't be. But I had hope for the dark chocolate. I always have hope for the dark chocolate, but more often than not those hopes are trampled by big candy companies that seem to have cow's milk flowing through their veins. GAH. Attention candy company executives: it's dark chocolate. Dark, as in not milk, as in free of cow secretions and safe for ecstatic consumption by vegans and lactose intolerant persons the world over. At least that's what it should mean, if we listen to logic's sweet, rational whispers. But oh, logic. American done got no use for ya', son.
Adding milk to dark chocolate to make it less intense is like adding milk to soymilk to make it taste less like soybeans. Stupid. Pointless. People buy dark chocolate because they want to eat dark chocolate, not because they want milk chocolate but the color really doesn't match their upholstrey.
I'm tempted to send Choxie a letter.
I would like to purchase and consume your dark chocolate products, but I can't. You won't let me. You might ask what I mean, because surely you'd be happy to sell them to me. You are, after all, in this for the money. Which I would love to give you, if only your dark chocolate products didn't contain dairy.
Contrary to what they may teach you at Candy School, not everyone likes milk. A lot of people are allergic to it - you may have heard of something called "lactose intolerance." You or someone you love may even be afflicted with this condition. There are also people out there who choose not to consume dairy out of compassion for cows of all sizes. These people are called vegans, and we like chocolate too. It's true! We are growing in number and need for chocolate items - items like the ones you produce.
But none of your products are free of dairy, Choxie. The only thing I can conclude from this is that you do not like baby cows. You steal their breakfast and put it into dark chocolate, where it does not belong in the first place. Why don't you love baby cows, Choxie? What have they done to you?
In conclusion, here is a piece of business advice for you: If you build it vegan, they will come. And they will bring money.
Now I wonder what they'd say if I actually sent it. I mean I'd probably just get a stock response, but you never know.